05 TAN UPDATE 09.01.2022 - Connection

We don't dismantle walls by reorganizing things where we are,

we dismantle walls by connecting to the other side.

— Rachel Richter —

Across the globe, our world is more "connected" than ever. Yet many of us have felt more disconnected than ever before even with almost eight billion of us on this planet. And that's just the number of people, what about all other forms of life? It's clear that while we may feel disconnected, we are never alone.I believe that disconnection is the driving force of negative outcomes in our organizations and our lives. Increasing connection with ourselves and one another maximizes business performance, innovation outcomes, retention, engagement, and the ability to meet the needs of the business and the needs of the market as a team.So what is connection?How does it relate to alignment?What might we be doing that has the side effect of feeling disconnected?What can we do to flip the switch in the moment and promote feeling more connected?

The only reason this newsletter is longer is for your mind to be more blown at the end...

Connection is the energy that exists within us & between us:

When we feel seen, heard and valued by ourselves & one another

When we give & receive without judging ourselves or others

When we gain sustenance & strength from ourselves & one another

Alignment requires connection to thrive personally & professionally. It requires connection with yourself to discern your highest intentions and to be self aware regarding your actions. It necessitates connection with others to effectively collaborate, build bridges, and get stuff done. Even a "soloprenuer" connects with others to meet the needs of the business and the needs of the market. What might we be doing that has the side effect of feeling disconnected?

Placing yourself as a character in a chapter (the victim, warrior, hero, villain, survivor, the good guy, the bad guy) rather than the as author your life.

• Placing someone else as a character (ex: the bad guy) automatically places us as characters as well (ex: good guys, warriors, survivors)

Viewing someone as "the other", different from yourself. When we view someone else as "the other", we view ourselves as separate (not connected) in the process.

• This shows up in business all the time, most of us have heard the excuse to not fully engage with someone else because "they are in the other department." (ie "they are separate from me" rather than "we're all on the same team").

Judging, shaming, blaming yourself or someone else

—

It's easy to do but after doing it, when have you ever thought, "Gosh, I feel much more connected to my life now"? Exactly.

No boundaries or "all the boundaries" 

—

healthy boundaries support connection to yourself, your circle, and the world around you, enabling you to navigate the world in a way that is aligned with your intentions.

Covering up your feelings or authentic self (even in a safe environment) 

—

showing up as who you think you should be and what you should feel vs who you really are and how you actually feel (even in a safe environment).

In a nutshell, we feel disconnected when we choose to speak, relate, and engage in ways that construct narratives of "us vs them" and "we are separate from them" since these inhibit the energy of connection.

What we can do to flip the switch...

Next time you find yourself inhibiting connection, what if you: Acknowledge it, choose differently in the moment, and remind yourself, "I'm doing my best and my best is more than enough." How do I know this? Personal experience (there's a lot of stories there) and practice. Like everything else in life, success here does not require perfect actions just intentional ones.

Now imagine if you intentionally spoke, related, and engaged in ways that promote feeling connected as a practice. What would happen in a month, six months, a year? How connected would you feel? How would your life change?

Place yourself as the author of your life.

I placed myself as characters for many years without ever realizing it. But life woke me up over and over again until I decided, "Wow, I'm really good at being really resilient but I want more. I want to thrive."

That's when I chose to start being the author of my entire life.

The more I practiced being the author, I switched from thinking "life happens to me" to "life happens for me".

Over time I made an even bigger jump: "life happens through me."

V

iew people as fellow travelers on this planet 

—

not separate from you.H

truly seeing and hearing yourself or someone else in the moment.

Create and maintain healthy boundaries 

—

so that you can show up in your full capacity to engage and thrive.

Showing up as who you really are and how you actually feel since vulnerability creates connection (in a safe environment).

It's in connection we develop our most valuable insights —

connection with ourselves, with others, and our world.

Found value from reading this? Who in your circle could benefit from having the opportunity to read this too?Be a source for good — share it with intention. It is how ideas that create positive impact can spread the most.Best,RachelP.S. I’d genuinely love to know your thoughts, aha moments, & takeaways!Reply to engage 👋