06 TAN UPDATE 09.08.2022 - Compassion + Boundaries

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— Rachel Richter —

Hi ! 👋

I want to share with you one of my favorite pieces of feedback that I have ever received from a organizational Alignment Experience:  

“Thanks for showing me that it is ok to be a compassionate manager.It’s who I am.”

That was a “mind blowing” moment for him and for me. 🤯Why his mind was blown — before that day, he viewed compassion as a weakness, especially in his industry.Why my mind was blown — my intention was to help this organization create greater alignment to maximize business performance — yet this was his biggest takeaway.People have a tendency of mistaking compassion for softness.

Back up... you can be tough as nails and extremely compassionate.Rather than making yourself softer or weaker, compassion connects you more with yourself and others. And connection is a strength. So what is compassion, really? Let’s start off with what compassion is absolutely not (and collectively wonder who wrote this dictionary definition) 🤔❌ “Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.”Far from deepening connection, acting in this way creates distance between people.In reality, compassion brings people together, it does not push them apart.✅ Compassion is the thoughtful act of truly seeing and hearing yourself and/or someone else in the moment But is it possible to advocate for yourself and lead with compassion simultaneously? Yes 🤩 Leading with compassion means truly seeing and hearing the people you are leading in the moment, while maintaining dignity and respect for everyone involved, including yourself. I sometimes refer to this as holding space with compassion. But here’s the secret. You can only hold space with compassion when you’ve put your oxygen mask on first, when you have bandwidth to truly see and hear people in the moment. What would happen if you were more intentional about putting your oxygen mask on first, giving yourself enough bandwidth before engaging, how much energy and availability would you have to lead with compassion?And that, my friends, leads us to a discussion about boundaries, next week (to save you from a longer email).

Found value from reading this? Who in your circle could benefit from having the opportunity to read this too?Be a source for good — share it with intention. It is how ideas that create positive impact can spread the most.Best,RachelP.S. I’d genuinely love to know your thoughts, aha moments, & takeaways!Reply to engage 👋