14 TAN UPDATE 11.4.2022 - The second word to find & replace in your daily vocabulary

—  Rachel Richter  —

Hi ! 👋

Last week we talked about a quick aligned language trick to create big impact based on the Pareto principle, also known as the 80/20 rule. I explained this principle shows that 20% of your effort (the input), is responsible for approximately 80% of the results, the impact created (the output).And there was great news about how this this 80/20 rule applies to efforts creating greater alignment: these efforts fall within the 20% of input responsible for 80% of the results and impact created. 👏

If you step back and think about the impact we're talking about, why would I stop at giving you only one quick aligned language trick?!So as promised, here’s my second favorite to effortlessly create bigger impact & greater alignment by swapping just one more small word in your daily vocabulary.Only this week, the word to replace has two syllables instead of just one syllable 😧 

What if you replace “sorry” with “thank you” in your conversations when "perfect" was the bar that wasn't met?How would this shift the dynamic in the moment and the relationship in the long run?

The language of alignment is the language of intention not perfection. This means recognizing that neither you nor the person you are speaking with is perfect.That is why intentional actions matter more than perfect ones. Every time it isn't perfect, you can intentionally iterate — creating better and bigger impact and results over time."Thank you" is about gratitude. "Sorry" implies you did something wrong, and clearly not being perfect is quite human, not wrong. So what would happen if you stop apologizing for not being perfect and instead start thanking people for helping you level up in whatever you are doing?Replacing “sorry” with “thank you” enables those you engage with to feel valued through an expression of gratitude regarding what they did or said.Note: It would probably not feel ok to those around you if you didn't intentionally iterate afterwards and continued to doing it. Just saying.🙅‍♀️ How I Practice This Professionally At INLIGN, we are intentional about using "thank you" rather than "sorry" and catching ourselves when we don't.Over the course of my career, it has looked like this:

When I submitted a report with two numbers that didn't match and they were supposed to — one of the first lessons in my career:Looking back, instead of apologizing I could have said: "Thank you so much for teaching me to be aware of this. I really appreciate it. I will update this accordingly and will make sure our process docs include a step to double check these numbers, 'trusting but verifying' when they come from another department."The time I was five minute late to a meeting:Instead of apologizing: Thank you for your patience! I was wrapping up my last meeting with your colleagues. In the future I will be spacing these apart by 15 minutes whenever possible so that it won't happen again. Once more, I really appreciate your patience here."The time I forgot something I needed to do and a team member reminded me:Instead of apologizing: "Thank you so much for reminding me. I am going to put this on my calendar from now on so that you won't need to remind me in the future. Making sure this gets done is important to me and I really appreciate your attention to detail." Three positive impacts of replacing "sorry" with "thank you" Your apology, when warranted, will mean much more to someone who is not hearing you needlessly apologizing for other stuff.The power dynamic between you and the other person will be more equal  when your standard is intentional actions rather than perfect ones. This is especially true if the person you are engaging with does not apologize often at all, even when it's warranted.This practice is in alignment with your humanity, with your genuine self. When you are in alignment with your genuine self, you have a greater capacity for curiosity, creativity, and clarity — all inherently helpful to creating impact and results.And of course, the best part is the level of effort required to receive these three benefits — simply replace two syllables with two other syllables...

You're welcome. 😉

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🧐 Found value from reading this? Who in your circle could benefit from having the opportunity to read this too?Be a catalyst for better connection — share this with intention. After all, this is exactly why I am sharing it with you, ! ✨May you have a wonderful weekend,Rachel