15 TAN UPDATE 11.11.2022 - your genuine self

— Rachel Richter —

Hi ! 👋

I am normally a fan of sufficient sleep. In this instance however, midnight has become my afternoon. For writing this specific installment of The Alignment Newsletter, it's worth it...If you were wondering where great alignment ultimately leads to, read on.A heads-up: It is long yet succinct for this content with built-in pauses for you to digest along the way. I did not want to split this up into multiple emails and leave you hanging in the wind. You can save this email and refer back as a reference as you see fit. 👍Given the nature of this one, I welcome your thoughts more than ever here.I believe that disconnection is the driving force of negative outcomes in our organizations and our lives. Increasing connection with ourselves and one another maximizes wellbeing, personal & business performance, value creation, outcomes, retention, engagement and so on.Creating greater alignment is a foundational practice to solving this disconnection and unlocking all the benefits above.👉 As I was discussing this with a very well-known thought leader in my circle, he said, "Why spend so much time creating greater alignment when you could address the biggest source of misalignment directly? Seems simpler. Just a thought."He's right: If we simply directly address the biggest source generating misalignment, we wouldn't need to spend as much time upfront creating greater alignment.So why not approach it from this direction? Here's the catch-22: most people simply aren't up for addressing the biggest source of misalignment from the outset. It is too deep. Too personal upfront, especially in a professional context.So to meet people where they're at, it's better to focus on creating greater alignment and realizing benefits that alignment brings so they want to keep creating alignment more and more.When the practice starts with creating greater alignment, it looks like walking people through the shallow end of a deep pool into greater and greater depth while teaching them how to swim better along the way.Whereas addressing the biggest source of misalignment from the beginning would be to drop people into the deep end and say, "go for it" without helping them swim first or explaining how they got there. Some people may not feel seen or heard, might be upset, or not wish to engage further — ending their alignment practice all together.And it's easy to see why they'd disengage: They weren't met in the shallows where they'd been wading through the water and they didn't want to go deep yet.🚦So for those of you who don't want to go deep with me today, that is OK! You can walk away from this email knowing that your own discernment is advising you to not address something deep at this moment. Now that you have this email, it will always be here for you whenever you are ready to go there.Listening to your own voice is what this is all about. I will always applaud people following your own discernment.Mini reminder on your own discernment: as discussed previously, this is something only accessible to you when you're grounded and not in fear/anxiety. It also includes your best effort in treating yourself and others with dignity and respect.So upon listening to your own discernment, if you DO want to swim to the deep end, let's do it — I've become a very good swimmer. 💪

The Biggest (Deepest) Source of Misalignment: Showing up as who you think you should be,not as who you really are.

Why is this the biggest source of misalignment? Who you really are is your genuine self. When you engage with yourself and others from your genuine authentic self, you are inherently more deeply connected with yourself. When people are more deeply connected with themselves, they have high self awareness and they don't generally neglect or harm themselves or others.Whereas the more that people find themselves neglecting or harming themselves or others, the more they are disconnected.The more they are disconnected from themselves, the bigger the misalignment is with themselves, their circles, and their world. So when are you not showing up as your genuine self and why might that be? When you don't show up as your genuine self, you may be showing up as who you think you should be or need to be, even subconsciouslyAnd when would you show up as who you think you should be? When you haven't yet embodied something fundamental that you need from yourself, it is common practice (even subconsciously) to externalize that need and farm it out to relationships, followers, metrics, jobs, or experiences outside of you.And why might that be? To be successful, safe, valued, worthy, recognized, noticed, etc.I did this for many years, and I did the best I could at the time, until I had a couple world-class mentors show me a different way forwards.When you shift from externalizing these needs to embodying them, your world opens up personally and professionally. Why? You aren't attached to things external to you the way you were before.This freedom from these attachments holds immense opportunity for the very thing that alignment yields: next-level results. The 20% input that holds 80% of the impact as we discussed last week.Feel free to get in touch if you'd like to learn more about how to do this!Why is "showing up as your genuine self" the deepest end of the massive pool? It is an invitation to reflect on who you really truly are. This level of vulnerability with oneself might be quite uncomfortable. And not knowing a solid answer to who you genuinely are might be frustrating or overwhelming.🫁 So let's take a breath and come up for air.

Why addressing the biggest cause of misalignment is secondary to creating greater alignment Meeting people where they're at involves focusing on the practice of creating greater alignment instead of addressing the biggest source of misalignment. That's because most people don't jump into the deep end unless they already swam around there before. And this is why I find it's best to wade through the shallows with folks first. They get to decide how deep they go, just as you did in this email.If at this moment you find that you've already gotten what you need and don't wish to dive deeper, simply close the email knowing you can always come back for more at a tie that aligns with you.You've officially swam in the deepest end of the pool — that self awareness you've engaged in is worth celebrating this weekend. Cheers to you!! 🥳 🙌 🤿 If you want to go deeper, let's start to dive this time! And we're going to do it the easy way.

Let's take a shortcut to showing up as you genuinely are Showing up as your genuine self can look like these characteristics:Calmness, clarity, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, or connectedness.Why? It is engaging as who you are underneath any:Fear, shame, overwhelm, anger, resentment, scarcity, insecurity, judgment, frustration, rage, etc.

And now, you might be wondering, just as I did, "How do you engage without these things when (abc / fill in the blank) is happening (in my life, my circle, my world)?"

Please note: Emotions can be guideposts. Suppressing them does not help you whatsoever. It is ok to feel any emotion. All emotions are normal and valid.The context here is that there is a different between:1) Feeling something, moving through it, and letting it go (this way over time these emotions are naturally much quieter)vs2) Engaging from that place with other people or with yourself. This is the deep source of misalignment that fuels disconnection from yourself and others.

This is part of what I was shown and now this is part of what I share with those who express interest in starting to dive this deep.

How to apply it

I recommend reading the answers to these questions out loud for maximum effect. When we say things out loud they land in our bones more easily and that's the shift that sticks more.Are you your experiences?While I am the one who experienced the thing, I am never the experience itself.Are you your accomplishments?While I am the one who accomplished the thing, I am never the accomplishment itself.Are you your failures?While I am the one who failed at the thing, I am never the failure itself.Are you the tough things that happened to you? While I am the one whose choice was taken away in the moment, I am never the choices others made. While the choices they made affected me, I am not their choices.Are you your net-worth / your follower count / your status?My self worth does not equal my net-worth. I am worthy of dignity and respect simply because I am alive.Notice the pattern here?

The events that occurred in your life are not who you are. How you show up in life and at work is an expression of who you are but it is not who you are. You are the one who came here to live this life.So to reiterate, showing up as you is simply showing up as yourself with:

Congratulations! If you read to this point, you swam to the deepest end of the pool and started to dive to where alignment ultimately leads — showing up as your genuine self while realizing next-level results. This is worth celebrating in whatever way speaks to you this weekend 🥳 🙌 And again, given the nature of this one, I welcome your thoughts more than ever here!! What resonated? What did you take away? How did your thinking shift? What further questions do you have? I am so curious!

🧐 Found value from reading this? Who in your circle could benefit from having the opportunity to read this too?Be a catalyst for better connection — share this with intention. After all, this is exactly why I am sharing it with you, ! ✨May you have a wonderful weekend,Rachel