20 TAN UPDATE 12.16.2022 I know I'll have made it when

— Rachel Richter —

Hi ! 👋Each week, when I share this with you, I decide which words are even more important for you to read — they end up in bold. This week, I wanted to bold almost everything. Enjoy 🤙

⌛️ I know I’ll have made it when…

• I drive X

• I own Y

• I live in Z

• I am with X

• I vacation at Y

• I know Z

• I achieve X

• I close out Y

• I ink deal Z

• I am regarded as X

• I speak at Y

• I meet metric Z

• I am size X

• I get raise Y

• I am awarded Z

• I am in role X

We’ve all thought this.Some of us keep going, going, going until we’ve ‘made it’. And for those of us that have ‘made it’, something happens when the glory or excitement wears off, maybe it’s:

• Feeling a bit numb

• Wondering, “What’s next?”

• Adjusting your goal post for 'making it'

• Finding yourself 'letting your body go'

• Wanting to know the ‘point of it all’

• Slipping into old patterns that don’t fully resource you

• Asking, “What now?”

Wonder why that is? By attaching yourself to the thing, or the outcome of a thing, you are externalizing a need:

• To be safe

• To be valued

• To have dignity

• To have respect

• To be worthy

• To be recognized

• To be noticed

If this resonates, know that it’s completely normal to feel this way. I have not met a single person that hasn’t had some form of this. It’s easy to get tied up in those things. I was there for many years until I had more awareness of what I was doing.And by more awareness, I mean awareness of which needs are being externalized and through what attachments these needs are being fulfilled.When you haven't yet embodied a fundamental need that originates with yourself, it is a common practice (even subconsciously) to externalize that need and farm it out to relationships, followers, metrics, roles/jobs, or experiences outside of you.Bringing your awareness to this is the next step to fully owning your own needs.When you shift from externalizing these needs to embodying them, your world opens up personally & professionally — even more than it already has. 🔆

Why? Since you aren't attached to things external to you the way you were before, you’ve made more space for you to be present, curious, creative, and strategic. Whereas when you attach yourself to the thing, you become the thing.

When you attach yourself to a specific outcome, you can't show up as your whole self to achieve that outcome — you’re showing up as the outcome, not yourself, it's covering you up. Think about the things you use in life as a proxy for validation, worthiness, dignity, respect, safety, and recognition. These are the things that, when they don't go your way, may cause immense stress and upset.

Imagine each need you’ve externalized becomes a piece of extra clothing you’ve put on top of what you’re wearing already. This is how I used to show up… 

With every need I embodied more fully, I let go of another piece of extra clothing that was preventing me from being as agile as possible — you can't run an ultra marathon in 15 shirts and expect to win. 

Overtime, I embodied my needs more and more— I showed up as me, not the role, the project, the target, the goal to meet, or the team. This made all the difference. What showing up as your whole self does for you and your circle professionally: To show up with presence and curiosity means not showing up with your needs, in that moment, tied to something external to you.Showing up without being attached to something external, including the outcome, increases the likelihood of success because when we are more curious and present, we are more creative and can think more strategically. By showing up this way, we are also modeling this approach for people around us so they can show up this way too, enabling the whole team to work together more effectively. 🙌

🧐 Found value from reading this? Who in your circle could benefit from having the opportunity to read this too?Be a catalyst for better connection — share this with intention. After all, this is exactly why I am sharing it with you, ! ✨May you have a wonderful weekend,Rachel