2023.3 vulnerability is a strength (learnings from the silence)

Because business is personal. This newsletter is dedicated to your own alignment journey.

“Vulnerability is the small price we pay for deeper connection.”

- ChatGPT (and Rachel Richter)

Hi ! 👋

It’s been almost a month since I’ve been on vocal rest to recover from misdiagnosed Strep A that wrecked my throat with inflammation. In other words, it’s been almost a month of one of the most humbling experiences I’ve had in recent memory. 

It is not suffering — I’ve been there, this definitely isn’t it.

It is not horrible — how can it be horrible if you are learning?

It is humbling — I didn’t realize how much I, we, all of us, rely on our ability to speak at any given time.

I have thought a lot about accessibility & vulnerability.

I was originally going to write a newsletter on the four main things I’ve learned this month from my time of silence. I’ll do that next week instead.

Instead, I’m going to share something I realized recently during this experience. 

Something not often practiced, especially professionally. And yet the benefits of it are sizable and sustainable: Increased team engagement, productivity, emotional intelligence. I could go into the endless stats here for businesses but this is a newsletter dedicated to a person. Suffice to say, companies that score in the top 25% for employee experience report 3x return on assets and 2x return on sales.

And these benefits would have had us take notice by now and leverage it if not for one thing. It can be very uncomfortable to really practice it.

Vulnerability.

Vulnerability is a strength when practiced in appropriate contexts.

I agreed with this before. After all, alignment as a practice necessitates practicing vulnerability in appropriate contexts. I have shared personal anecdotes, previous difficulties, engaged in compassion, dived into deep topics etc. I have asked for support through delegation. I have practiced vulnerability a lot. Or so I thought. Enter 2023.

This January was an invitation to practice vulnerability on a new level. There is something I cannot do at the moment (speak) and it’s humbling.

Vulnerability itself is humbling. That’s the point. We are all human but we often try to hide that. This is especially true when we think that part of our humanity or our human experience is not welcomed in whatever space we’re in. Being more open about health concerns in a professional space is a great example.

But agreeing with it and practicing it are different. And not all practice is the same.

You know you are being vulnerable in such a space when you are doing three things:

• Letting go of preconceived expectations of the people you’re engaging with in that space, thereby creating the opportunity for trust and connection.

• Making room for yourself and your needs regardless of how people respond — fear is not driving your behavior.

• Changing the space itself to be more connected simply by showing up with your humanity — modeling vulnerability as a connective tissue for everyone you’ve engaged with.

This last month of silence has required greater vulnerability for me to be successful, personally and professionally. I let team members & clients know what was happening to be in alignment with the reality of the situation and to manage expectations. I had to let go of the mask that I am superhuman (easily summarized by me previously saying “I have never missed a deadline”. I separated psychological vulnerability from physical. I was ok with psychological in appropriate contexts. Physical? Not so much. Now I am recognizing that my ability to lead with my humanity requires both.

And it is a strength to be sure. It has not only helped professionally. The compassion I now have for others and the degree of appreciation I have for the good things is magnified.

Danya Avner, one of my team members, said that she likes to think of success in the following way:

Whatever success you have in three years is a result of your action today. So three years from now your success is built upon every action you’ve taken over the last three years.

Practicing vulnerability in appropriate contexts will certainly be on my list when I look back. Just as everything I have done over the last three years is how we got here today.

When you look back on the success you have in three years, what uncomfortable actions will you have added to your repertoire that got you there?

Cheers,Rachel

P.S. I welcome any thoughts you’d like to share — I read them all, always. Just click reply. 👍

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