2023.5 learnings from the silence part 3

Because business is personal. This newsletter is dedicated to your own alignment journey.

“What is a rapid contagion that is also a cure? Compassion.”

Hi ! 👋

Happy Saturday! This week was my first full week speaking again after a month of silence. When 💩happens, I have traditionally wished for a memo that explains how things will unfold alongside a specific timeline. Knowing what’s next and how long it will last would make situations like this much easier to handle. If only.

Instead, I am reminded of how 💩 can be fertilizer for the future. Because now I know a great antidote to something we have all experienced as humans: frustration.

The frustration I experienced last month came in the form of:

• Trying to lead a meeting where you can’t talk and when you “raise” your hand over zoom people don’t see it.

• Rescheduling an entire month’s calendar because you cannot speak and aren’t completely sure why that is and when exactly it will get better.

• Resolving conflict with your partner via text instead of speaking so it takes 3x as long.

• Asking for another person to call someone on your behalf but they don’t quite say what you wanted to.

• Skipping the chats that connect you with friends & team members.

Last month was filled with a level of frustration akin to consistently abysmal encounters with tech support or cell service reps. On a daily basis. 💁‍♀️

And two weeks after doing this dance of frustration, I decided it wasn’t sustainable — I felt very out of alignment. Only when I recognized this whole frustration thing wasn’t working for me was I able to realign one big thing: my mindset.

Compassion as an antidote to frustration

I’ve shared before that compassion is a key driver of increasing connection, which maximizes stakeholder value (professionally and personally), unlocking greater prosperity. Compassion allows us to understand and relate to others on a deeper level — removing friction and unintentional roadblocks from relationships.

I’ve also illuminated how compassion ignites from within you first: the thoughtful act of seeing and hearing yourself in the moment.

It’s treating yourself as you’d treat your very best friend. This level of deep connection starts from within and amplifies out into your personal and professional spheres. It’s contagious. Compassion: a good contagion. And, as it turns out, a good cure.

Compassion is an effective antidote to frustration. We’re human and when our expectations aren’t met, we can get frustrated. We can then become frustrated with ourselves for being so frustrated. It’s a vicious cycle. And frustration has been positioned in our society as a “fact of life” when 💩 happens.

Not anymore.

Here’s how you can practice giving yourself the antidote:

• Meet your body & mind in the moment of frustration with compassion

  • Place a supportive hand on yourself (your core, heart, neck, shoulder, head)

  • Share something like, “I’m sorry this is happening. I can see how acutely annoying/painful/distressing this is. I’m here and I’m listening. You matter. This too shall pass.”

• When the itch of frustration pops up, apply this antidote liberally.

• Circle back with yourself weekly to check progress — I prefer Saturday as that’s a more reflection-oriented day for me.

Now this antidote is part of your alignment arsenal. So, when your expectations aren’t met, instead of living with frustration as a “fact of life”, you can see through the veil. Frustration is simply a choice. And you now have the capacity within us to choose differently.

Imagine what happens when you don’t pour your frustration onto anyone else, even during an abysmal tech support experience. Because just like compassion is a contagion, so is frustration. And you can now inoculate yourself against it and stop spreading it.

I dare you to tell me this won’t lead to greater results, personally and professionally.

I double dare you to try this for a week and see for yourself. The application of the antidote may feel strange at first, but these side effects resolve quickly.

Cheers,Rachel

P.S. I welcome any thoughts you’d like to share — I read them all, always. Just click reply. 👍

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