What Accountability and Awareness Really Look Like

Anything that shouts or whispers “do as I say, not as I do” in yourself is a newfound place to bring alignment and connection.

Hi there!👋

Over the past two weeks, we've delved into the hidden impact of "taking the emotion out of it" and its consequences on team dynamics and productivity. This week, let's right-size the urgency of focusing on alignment, connection, and impact — especially when you think you don't need to focus on it.

Why? There’s been a lot of talk in the news recently regarding a variety of business leaders on camera speaking to their teams in various flavors of “do as I say, not as I do.” This was my favorite public example recently. For those who would like further context, feel free to check out this article.

This is one of many examples in the past few weeks. Taken together, they got me thinking about how pervasive this “do as I say, not as I do” attitude is to varying degrees and how destructive it is across the board.

“The data is clear. The companies that create the greatest total value across all dimensions of performance don’t do so at the expense of shareholder value.”

— Harvard Business Review 2023.

A company’s P&L is only part of the story. Disconnection devalues our organizations and lives. Increasing connection with ourselves and one another maximizes value alongside performance, initiative outcomes, retention, engagement, and the ability to meet the needs of the business & the needs of the market — as a team.

Look no further than attitudes, statements, and actions of “do as I say, not as I do” to devalue whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish. Hearing someone practically exempt themselves from the need to work on something while emphasizing that others should is a clear indicator of a lack of self-awareness. Spotting the “do as I say, not as I do” attitudes, statements, and actions of others is crucial if you want to lead, work with, and hire people who will drive performance and maximize value. Spotting the remaining “do as I say, not as I do” attitudes, statements, and actions of yourself, even more so.

When someone believes that cultivating alignment, connection, and impact isn’t a priority, that’s a glaring sign to prioritize it even more. This is the essence of self-awareness. When someone doesn’t think it's critical, it becomes even more crucial and urgent, as they likely have less alignment and impact than they’re aiming for.

Again, it's the individuals who practice self-awareness and connection that achieve better results, faster, and with greater ease and success. And it’s the teams made up of these folks that drive performance and value at scale. Developing these qualities within your team and cultivating them within yourself is the key to driving long-term performance and maximizing value.

Knowing this, here’s a simple and effective trick to identify “do as I say, not as I do” attitudes, statements, and actions within 5 minutes of speaking with someone.

This trick works just as well when conversing with someone else as it does when reflecting with yourself — as discussed, both matter. That cannot be overstated. This is for your reflection, for your discussion with another, and for my own practice. It is for all of us.

1) Ask, “What is a recent challenge you faced? How did you navigate it?”

2) Listen to the answer. If this is your own answer, write it down first before going forwards so you can see it and reflect on it.

3) Pay attention to the response, particularly if the response:

• Focuses solely on external factors and the actions of others, without acknowledging the personal role in the situation.

• Exhibits a "do as I say, not as I do" attitude, expecting others to take responsibility while exempting the person responding.

• Avoids introspection or reflection on their own behavior, growth, or lessons learned from the experience.

4) If you observe these tendencies in the response, you've identified the "do as I say, not as I do” attitudes, statements, and actions within yourself or someone else. Knowing is half the battle. The other half is doing something about it.

Now you have actionable knowledge for your relationship with another person and for your relationship with yourself. Spotting “do as I say, not as I do” attitudes, statements, and actions in others and in ourselves is essential for building a team of connected and self-aware people who can drive lasting success.

As Sun Tzu said in the Art of War, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” Even though we aren’t in the business of characterizing other people as enemies or our initiatives as battles, the essential truth remains. Understanding how self-aware someone else is, that’s only half the equation. It is crucial for each of us, when we want to accomplish something long-term, to know ourselves as well. That is the essence of practicing self-awareness.

Ask reflective questions and pay attention to the nuances in responses — spoken, emailed, or journaled. The more you do this, the better you’ll be at quickly identifying where the places of “do as I say, not as I do” reside in someone else — and in yourself.

Where does underestimating the urgency of focusing on alignment, connection, and impact lead?

What happens when you don’t pay attention to these?

How does performance and value increase long-term when the very things that increase them aren’t practiced as a matter of course?

Your answers to these questions could be a sign that doubling down on these efforts is more crucial and more urgent that you thought.

Until next time,Rachel

P.S. I welcome any thoughts you’d like to share — I read them all, always. Just click reply. 👍

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